No CRUD (Updates are bloat, you don't need them) (under consideration, perhaps we could allow this?)
No "query language" (cmon, you REALLY dont need this)
No forced backend (you can pick the way you want to store things)

Very fast

Its like sonic, but faster

Substitutable

You can change backends (very cool) to ones that you see fit. Cache, cloud, permanent storage, etc. All very cool stuff.

Made by hot people (person)

You can rest assured that this database is made & managed for exclusively hot people

Production Ready

No god no I pray to our great lord Xenu that this never hits a real production environment

Open source

Unlike the rest of them. No other database is open source. Don't fact check this.

Founded by a hot person

Unlike the other databases, you can rest assured that this database was created by a hot person. If you don't trust some README.md file to confirm this, look at these real testimonies by real people:

Shes very hot
The creator of SDB is very hot
The creator of SDB is so hot I want to give her money on https://donate.shadygoat.eu
I want to send the creator of SDB salad, which I only do to hot people

Hey, at least its not a csv database

This database & the backends provided but not forced by default is mildly better than a csv database

Used by hot people

Only hot people are allowed to use, contribute or even see this code. If you're not hot, please do not look at the code.

It stores things

Yep this database sure does store things... Even between restarts which is pretty cool

Sub stands for substitutable

Thats what it stands for. Trust me. Its because you can sub the backends. For example, I can sub my backend to a harder and/or larger storage method.